I drove her after school and watched, as she sat in the back of the hot car, digging through the bag of soccer gear I had packed looking for the right thing to wear. Maggie is joining a team that has been undefeated for 4 years. They have played together, known each other and have been familiar with the game since they were all quite small. There was an opening, her friend is on the team, and she is interested.
As shorts, socks and cleats were flying around the car, I could feel her stress, her nervousness and her anxiety. "Mom! You didn't pack my black shorts! These red ones are too loose and they show my underwear!" Don't take it personally, I said to myself. "Mom! where are the black socks?" She is just nervous. Its not about the clothes, I reminded myself.
I tried to breathe through my own anxiety, and help her find things she would be comfortable in. She looked out the car window for what seemed like an eternity, analyzing what the other girls had on, to help her make a decision.
She worried that her cleats were too tight. She worried she would be cold. Then hot. Then cold.
She finally got dressed and was ready to face the team. We walked out to the field to meet the coach and the other players. She timidly introduced herself. "Hi" she said quietly. "I am Maggie Miller."
A very tough looking girl, smiling a big, earnest smile, looked at her and said "are you a righty or a lefty?"
"I think I am a righty?" Maggie replied, slightly confused.
"Cool! We have 2 lefty's already on the team. And you are a righty! Perfect! What do you want your nickname to be? Maggie Miller...hmmm...how about Double M!"
Maggie just sort of nodded and took it all in.
"Maggie, want to do a lap with us?"
"No thanks." she replied, honestly, standing next to me as if there was a chain tethering us together.
I finally had to leave and said goodbye. "She will be fine" I thought. "She will get clobbered" I thought. "She will be discouraged when she gets home" I thought. "But, she will be fine" I thought.
Maggie arrived home with a smile. I didn't need to ask. "Double M" had done it.
