Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Best Smoothie Ive Ever Had

Simple post: smoothie recipe. I am really into making smoothies for my family. My oldest daughter refuses to eat anything for breakfast that you actually have to pick up and chew. She is my smoothie inspiration. The best one yet, with the most bang for your buck as far as nutrients. GREENIE (as we call it).
Mix in blender:
1. Handful of green grapes (you can freeze them and keep them for a long time to use whenever!)
2. Handful of fresh spinach leaves (and yes, they blend up quite nicely in a typical blender)
3. Some coconut water
4. A little milk (or just use coconut milk if you have it)
YUM. Good and good for you, as my father says. ENJOY.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Teenage memories and realities

Today is a day filled with ironies.

My 10 year old daughter is going to her first, school “dinner and dance” tonight for 5th graders. She has her clothes picked out and a friend coming over to prepare with her. What fun. Memories come flooding back for me. It’s an awkward age, filled with all kinds of firsts, new feelings, experiences, changes, pressures and fun.

Today is also the day I am scheduled to go get braces put on my lower teeth. For those that haven’t read my post from last summer, my daughter and I visited the ortho together last year, with the intention of getting her teeth analyzed and possible BRACED. Well, turns out I am the one that needs them.

SO as I watch my daughter and her friend head off tonight to a wonderful new pre-teen experience, my smile will be filled with a mouthful of teenage memories, literally.



We had no snow over the holidays here in Boulder, but today made up for it. What a view from my back deck. How did I get so lucky?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Most Difficult Job There Is


"Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the most difficult and important jobs there is."

It's a true sentence, but how many people really believe that?

I am not sure I relate to the phrase *stay-at-home-mom*.
There is not much staying-at-home involved. Most of the time we are taxi drivers, errand runners, delivery people, schedule coordinators, activity transporters, cleaners and Sherpas.
Stay-at-home...lets re-title that for this blog entry. I like Domestic Engineer, but I will simplify it to Full Time Mom.
"Being a full time mom is the most difficult and important jobs there is."
Cliche, but true.
We (Full Time Moms) should know it, but every so often its important to be reminded. To be given reassurance. To be commended. There are no tangible trophies, no cash bonuses, no paid company vacations, and no promotions. Mothering is not conducive to fun cocktail conversation offering bragging rights about the cool thing that happened at our job that day, and, ironically, when you brag about your children and family it seems so pompous.
So our job review and advancement occurs when our children look at us and get it. When they show love, when they act with respect, when they hug for no reason and forgive a mean friend. When they hold a door open and walk the dog without being asked. When they share with us their pains and glories. When they come home and talk about stresses they are trying to understand.
Our bonus comes when someone tells us that being a mom is "the most important job there is" and really means it.

I was at a Holiday party last month and saw an acquaintance. She has one very young (3 years old) child and one school-aged. We asked the typical holiday-party questions, "How is your break?" "What are you doing with the kids for New Years to celebrate?" etc.
Then...she asked me "What are you doing with your time these days?"
My response...brace yourself..."I am still a stay-at-home mom."
Her response…brace yourself… "But your kids are in school all day!"
Pause, breathe, and answer with sincerity I thought to myself.
I began to answer, “It is still a lot to handle without help…” She interrupted me to say, “How long are they gone… isn’t it all day?”
I felt as though I was failing a math exam. She was calculating the time I spent on chores and subtracting it from my day without the children. Her thoughts were almost audible, an hour for laundry, an hour for groceries…where does the time go?
I became defensive…NOT a good cocktail party response.
I could feel the blood rush to my face, not out of embarrassment (well, maybe a little) but out of sheer frustration with her question.
I thought, how could she not get it? She is one of us…a Full Time Mom.
Wait...that’s right...she still has a little one at home all day, so she is struggling to qualify my job as a stay-at-home-mom with THREE children that are in school.
I took it upon myself to help her understand.
I began walking her through my days.
“Normally by the time I clean up breakfast and start the dishwasher, the dogs need their walk. If I have the time, I do a workout for myself. I come back to load some laundry, I answer emails and calls for a while, ranging from room-parent issues to scheduling for the kids to friends asking how I am, then I start to straighten up. After getting slightly sucked into a few projects such as the closet that has been holding 20 years of junk, I head to the office to pay bills, call the cable company because of the bad reception, fix the light bulb that is out and fight for a cheaper car insurance. Back to switch the laundry again, then out to the grocery store and any errands I have (normally a list for the kids a mile long). I get home in time to walk the dogs once more, feed the cats, empty that dishwasher from the morning, start thinking about dinner, research bullying on the Internet to help my child through a school issue, figure out why the cat threw up on the carpet and head to the bus stop.”
Her eyes glazed over with a coating similar to one on top of the best doughnut I've eaten. Was she getting it or just too kind to tell me how bored I've made her?
We smiled and ended the conversation amicably (although she didn’t come back to chat more).
Many people, even women with young kids, have trouble understanding how someone could be completely fulfilled by JUST being a mother.
There are books written about depression that can be caused by the monotony of all the daily things Full Time Mothers do, but there are few books written on the pleasure it brings.
One of my dearest friends had us over for dinner and said, looking me straight in the eye, “But what are you doing for YOU?”
Can’t she see that this IS for me?
I could start to second-guess the validity of complete gratification I receive from being a Full Time Mom because of societies expectation to have us do more.
Before I was a mother I worked 60-hour weeks for over 10 years as a VP of Sales to an entrepreneurial manufacturing company. I travelled, attended trade shows all over the country and in Europe and was rarely home.
I worked through my first child’s baby years and until I was pregnant with the twins. I loved it.
Now I love this.
Until last year, I was on the board of my children’s school for 3 years, chairing it one year.
This is my first year without any other major commitment other than my home and family.
Does having something else on the side make being a Full Time Mom more valid?
Let me go on record saying that one does not need to be a Full Time Mom to be a good mom. Actually, some of the best mothers I know hold full times jobs. Some do it because they have to and some do it because they want to. Working makes them better mothers. I am in awe, but not envious. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world (except maybe 2 weeks paid vacation and a holiday bonus).
Right now I have the opportunity to focus on my children and my home.
It may not always be like this. I may want something different one day. I may need to go back to work for financial or emotional reasons, but right now this is who and what I am.
Although I have moments when being a Full Time Mom seems like too much… and too little at the same time, I still feel fortunate.
Fortunate to be involved in what happens in their classroom.
Fortunate to there for every report, play and presentation.
Fortunate to have created a loving home for them, offering stability and security in their lives.
I feel lucky to have bragging rights about my life as a mother.
A Full Time Mother.
"Being a Full Time Mom is the most difficult and important jobs there is."
And sometimes I can even have time to sneak in some writing!
Laundry is calling. GTG!

PS: Praise to Full Time Dad's too!